Sweet Child of Mine
by factionofagirl
Summary: Tris becomes pregnant after the night with Tobias in Insurgent, this story loosely follows the books and it has a very similar ending like the one in Allegiant. Rated M to be safe for some sexual content. FourTris
1. Leaving

**A/N: Hey readers! Hope you enjoy this fic. This chapter is rated M just in case because of mention of sexual content. As always, I don't own Divergent.**

I hold my arms around him, our faces are mere inches from each other. I stare into his eyes which are a warm, deep blue. I feel guilty knowing what I'm about to do, lying to him once again but I can't stay here and see more people hurt because of me. I can't do it, I can't do but leaving him at the same time feels wrong. His lips meet mine as I feel his warmth, the longing for something more. I grab the back of his shirt as he pulls mine until we are both in front of each other, panting and shirtless. I touch his chest, running my hand down it until I meet the waistband of his pants while he reaches for and unhooks my bra. "Beautiful" he murmurs to me as he cups one of my breasts and kisses me near the tattoo on my collarbone. I remove his pants to reveal his boxers and kiss his neck as he starts to work on mine.

I've never wanted someone like this, I've never even really considered having sex aside from after my final simulation but I can't stop myself. The warmth, the feeling of his body against mine is like ecstasy. I can't resist it. "Are you sure, Tris?" he asks, looking up at me with an eyebrow. I nod my head and stroke his cheek as his fingers fumble on my underwear. We stand close now, both fully undressed. I find my way to the bed we share, lying flat while he climbs on top of me. "Ready?" he asks and I nod. I feel his gentle, steady thrusts enter me as my finger traces his face and runs down his face. Our lips meet again as I taste his lips and feel his strong, muscular body. We continue for awhile until he brushes my hair with his hand and lays next to me.

He holds me in his arms until he falls asleep and I have to figure out my plan to leave him. I have to leave him, I have to but I don't want to at the same time. A pang of guilt hits me as I leave his arms and get dressed to leave. "I love you." I whisper towards his sleeping form and a tear rolls down my cheek. I have to do this, it's no time for crying I tell myself but the pain and ache still remain as I slowly exit the room and take one last look at him before I go. I make my way to Erudite headquarters and force myself not to think of Tobias. Instead, I feel determined. I know my fate is not likely to be good but I will save people from dying so I try to focus on that. I've been waiting to find a way to sacrifice myself for others and this will be it. This is what I can do.

Peter finds me once I'm in Erudite and places me in a small cell. I pace, panicking about being somewhere I can't escape. Panic leaves me as my mind switches back to Tobias. _How long will it be until he realizes what I've done? What will they do to me?_ I think. A rush of tears finds it's way down my face until I am sobbing so hard that I can't breathe. _I will die here. I will never see him again, I'll never get the chance to apologize. I'm done, my life's purpose served. I'm trapped,_ I think to myself.

Jeanne collects me and leads me down a long white tiled hallway. I follow her into a room with a cold metal table. I don't like this room one bit but I refuse to show her my uneasiness. I'm taken slightly aback as she explains that I will be studied, tested on and then executed after my purpose has been served. The last part makes me shiver, I stare at the metal table and think _I will die here. I will die here just like I thought, just like she wants…_

Peter leads me to a room with a large MRI machine. I cooperate but only after I negotiate with Jeanne. The small space scares me so I close my eyes and try to distract myself from the space and the noise. We walk back towards my cell when I see a young man thrashing, restrained by two Dauntless guards. I gasp as I realize who is a: Tobias. Something like a shriek and a cry escapes me as I see the blood on his face and shirt. My feet are stuck, in shock as Peter tries to push me towards him. I can't move. I finally push myself towards him, screaming because I don't know why he's here, why he came here. I was supposed to be the only sacrifice here, I was the only one who is supposed to die. Not him, not him. He tells me that if I die, he dies too but it's not supposed to go like this. It's not. It's the repercussions of what I chose, he says but it's not supposed to be. It can't be. I can't let him die too, I can't.

Once I reach my cell, I drop to the ground instantly as I hyperventilate and sob. He came to die with me, I realize which makes me sob even harder. I try to resume breathing normally to stop the tears that floor endlessly but I can't. Peter leaves me and I sob until I can't produce any more tears and exhaustion lulls me to sleep.


	2. Escaping Erudite

**A/N: Hey readers! Hope you're enjoying this fic so far. This chapter uses lyrics for the song** ** _Set Fire to the Third Bar_** **by Snow Patrol. I don't own it or Divergent unfortunately. Enjoy!**

The next day, I'm led to a room and given a simulation serum for Jeanine's study. I see my mother and long for her, the ache of grief hits me when I see her. I don't want the simulation to end; for her to go away again but she does. I dream of her that night, we visit the Amity orchards filled with apples. It's a welcome break from reality but not real at the same time. I won't know her, she won't know me. Peter wakes me and brings me to the room with the metal table. I tense instantly as Jeanne insists I get on it. I thrash about as Peter grabs and throws me onto it. It's cold and stiff. The door opens suddenly and Tobias walks in.

Jeanine injects me with a serum that makes my heart race. My heart beats so loud that it fills my ears. I scream and my muscles tense as I see Tobias stab himself in the stomach, blood gushes quickly and I can't take it. _It can't be real, it can't be real. No! No_! I think to myself. I calm down and see Tobias is okay. He brushes some hair from my face. Our fingers lock as long as possible until he's pulled away. Jeanine decides to show me who has been helping her and I can't believe my eyes when he walks in: Caleb.

My head pounds and stomach churns when I wake up. Tobias meets me at the showers, shoots at Peter and motions for me to run with him. I make it a few steps but then have to stop, unable to breathe. I get on his back He sets me down and explains the plan; that I have to hold on. For weeks, for two weeks and I don't know if I can do it. Two more weeks of torture. He tells me that I can survive this; that I have to survive this but I don't have the heart to tell him that I can't. I know that I can't.

Caleb makes me awaken out of surprise me next day. The sight of him makes me furious as he tries to justify what he's done including torture me. I settle calmly and sleep until Peter wakes me. My execution it tomorrow instead of two weeks from now. I don't know what to do with myself and eventually run out of tears to release as my shift once again to Tobias. Defeated, I lay on the cold floor and think. I won't get to say goodbye to him. I won't get to see him again before I leave this world, I ache for him; to hear his voice, to feel his touch, anything.

 _Their words mostly noises  
Ghosts with just voices_

I lay there and try to remember what I can; what our lives together have been like. He deserves more, he deserves so much more than me. And yet, the memories begin to flood me: when I jumped first, training with him, being saved from Al, Peter and Drew...

 _Your words in my memory  
Are like music to me_

Or when we did the simulations, seeing his or running mine when he would whisper for me to be brave. I want to be brave but I don't know how I can through this, I knew this would happen. I knew this was coming but it all seems so sudden and painful.

 _I'm miles from where you are,  
I lay down on the cold ground_

What will they do Tobias when I'm gone?

 _I, I pray that something picks me up  
And sets me down in your warm arms_

I long for his warmth, to lay in his arms just once. Just one more time, one more kiss, anything but I know that won't happen so I try to distract myself.

I think of what I would want my life to mean, I don't want my life to be pointless. I saved people from dying, I want to go out the way my parents did in the most noble way possible: Self-sacrifice. Living so other people can live.

I walk down the hallway with Peter when the time has some. I hear shouting that I can't make out until I figure out who it is: Tobias. I look at him through the window Peter points out. I'm relieved a bit that we can see each other even in what will be final moments. I've never thought about what it will feel like to die but I know that I don't want to. The serum is injected into my neck and my body relaxes and stills. This is it, I think. This is the end.

To my surprise, I'm not dead. I escape with the help of Peter and Tobias and I head to his old home in Abnegation. I made it into the front room of his house until the floor under my feet begins to sway. I hear Tobias' voice saying my name but I can't respond. My feet aren't steady and I fall, hitting my head on the way down and everything goes black.


	3. Beyond the Fence

**A/N: Still don't own Divergent, enjoy!**

I wake up in a sterile smelling hospital room with Tobias sitting in a chair next to my bed. I don't know where we are or what's happened since I fainted. His eyes look up and meet mine. "You've got to stop scaring me like this!" he says quietly. "What?" I begin as he puts his hand to my lips. "You fainted, we're in Erudite hospital right now. They did all sorts of tests to try to figure out why and you, you're…" he stutters. "I'm what? What is it?" I demand as I hear him gulp "Pregnant."

My mouth falls open as he tells, unable to comprehend what he just said. I put the pieces together: the nausea I've been feeling, headaches, fatigue, etc. He tells me I've been out for a couple of days to let my body rest. The Dauntless stormed Erudite to protect some of their information which includes the shocking information that there is life beyond the fence. I want to go as soon as I'm also to see what lies beyond our city. And I will, tomorrow he says.

I try to make sense of all that he has told me so far. "Are you upset about "it"?" I ask, bracing for his reaction. "No. It's a bit soon but we love each other, I can't wait to meet little him or her." He curls up next to me and I lay my head onto his chest; I feel the steady beat of his heart, feel his warm, strong muscular arms around me. I drift off to sleep quickly, feeling safe in his arms.

Rays of sunlight trickle in as I open my eyes the next morning, Tobias is already awake and pulling on a clean shirt. "Morning." he murmurs as he pulls his shirt down and looks in my direction. I pull myself up into a sitting position as I groan. We both get dressed and leave the hospital quickly and meet Christina, Uriah, Tori, Peter and Cara outside Erudite Headquarters. We all talk with each other about the plan to leave for the city and wait as Tobias goes to free Caleb.

The waiting makes me feel nervous and uneasy. I have not thought much of my brother since my time in Erudite when I discovered his role in my torture. I hate him for that, I wanted to hate him for awhile but he is also my brother. Up the hill, I see Tobias heading towards us and Caleb behind him. We all jump and board the train then jump off when we near the fence. We're surrounded by gunshots suddenly and I watch helplessly as Tori is wounded and dies.

Johanna helps us make it outside the fence where we follow the train tracks into the city until a truck stops near us and two people exit it. The young woman identifies herself as Zoe and the older man is Amar, Tobias' presumed dead mentor. I look over to Tobias who is pale and looks shocked, as though he has seen a ghost though I suppose he has if he thought Amar was dead this whole time.

We ride the truck and end up at a place called The Bureau of Genetic Welfare. We're part of a city called Chicago and a genetic experiment gone wrong. A man named David at the Bureau gives me some old journals of my mother's. I love reading these to get to know her, to feel close to her again.'

My mother saved the Divergent, showing that maybe she was Dauntless and Abnegation all along: brave and selfless.

I'm tired from the day's adventures so I list down on a cot and relax until I fall asleep. I wake up the next morning feeling territory nauseous. I run and make it to the bathroom in time to retch and empty my stomach. Tobias comes with me and holds my hair back as I vomit, whispering soft, soothing words to me.

I go and lay down and sleep for a few hours while Tobias goes with Nita, one of the Bureau staff to learn more about the genetics involved here and in Chicago. The Divergent are considered to be genetically pure while the others are genetically damaged. Tobias enters the room with a look at sadness and frustration on his face.

"What's wrong?" I whisper to him, noticing the darkness in his blue eyes, the cool tone they reflect. "I went with Nita, we tested my genes and I'm not Divergent. I'm damaged!" he groans. I don't understand why this would matter to him, he doesn't seem like the kind of person who would be but I guess the word damaged is pretty powerful. Over the next week or so, he begins spending more and more time with Nita so I'm left to wander the Bureau by myself for most of the time.


	4. The Plan

Tobias tells me one day about the attack Nita is planning to steal the memory serum so that it can't be used on the people in Chicago. I don't know what to think of her or her plan, Tobias has been spending so much time with her lately that I can't help but feel jealous.

The next day, Tobias drags me with him to meet Nita. Something about her makes me feel uneasy and I don't trust her. "Trust me." Tobias later on "We need you, I need you. Please, help me." he pleads but I can't do it. I can't help but think about Nita's plan and how much I don't trust her or the plan.

Not knowing what to do or who to talk about this, I find my way to Matthew, one of the people here I trust who knows about how all of this place works. I tell him about Nita's plan and he replies in a whisper "You were right not to trust her. She doesn't want the memory serum, she wants the death serum to kill the genetically pure." "How do you know?" I ask, feeling unsure about what he just told me. It's true that I might not like her or what she wants to do but I can't imagine this. It's unthinkable. "She's been talking about it for years but never had the help to do it."

The next morning I hear the bomb go off, I watch from the room where we are staying as people  
run wildly, screaming from the explosions. I'm horrified. How could Tobias have joined in something like this? I think but then, it hits me that he doesn't know. I see a brown skinned, attractive looking young man in the middle of the explosion: Uriah. He's quickly knocked unconscious and I put my hand over my mouth to stifle the sound of my screaming and crying.

I hear footsteps hours later as Tobias walks into the room. He looks conflicted, not quite sad or happy but numb. I rise from where I'm sitting to face him, anger rises in me as I look at him. "How could you have done that?! I told you that she couldn't be trusted, I wasn't just being jealous! And Uriah…" my voice trails off as his voice rises

"Didn't you think I know? I tried to stop it once I knew what was happening but there wasn't anything I could do!" he shouts. "I can't even look at you right now." I say in a low voice, turning away from him. "You're really that upset with me? Maybe I'll go so you can't." he says as he storms off.

It's our first real fight and it hurts. My lip quivers as hot, fresh tears roll down my cheek. I feel awful but I can't let it go yet. Not yet. I pull my knees up to my chest and hide my face there for awhile. Christina enters the room and asks me what's wrong.

I suck in a breath as I tell her "That explosion and attack this morning, T-Four took part in. He tried to get me to join him but I didn't, I didn't trust Nita, the woman who planned it and I couldn't look at him afterwards so he left." my voice trembles as I finish. "That's crazy!" Christina remarks "You were right not to trust her and you'll be fine, you two are an adorably disgusting couple." The last part makes me giggle a little.

"I have a question for you though that I am dying for know!" she pauses "Are you pregnant?" I'm taken aback for a moment, I am only about two months along and barely starting to show but leave it to Christina to know everything. "Yes, but I haven't told anyone yet. I'm only two months." I confess. "Oh my god!" she squeals, wrapping me in a hug. "Congrats! I'm going to be an aunt." she beams.

Matthew helps me to schedule my first ultrasound and the care I'll need while pregnant. Tobias is still nowhere to be found but there are rumors going around that he went back to see his mother and father. Christina accompanies me to my first appointment, a smile finds my lips as I see the little figure on the screen. A sense of longing and regret fills me as I think of Tobias and what he is missing, what he will miss if we can't work things out.

Shortly after the attack, I was offered a position on the Bureau council. We're meeting today. "Good afternoon, everyone." David greets everyone with "We have an urgent situation that must be addressed soon. There is a war being prepared for inside the city that we must stop before there are mass casualties. I suggest we use the memory serum on everyone inside the city in about three months time, prior to the war beginning." I am stunned in shock from this news. _War? Memory serum?_ I think, I can't quite comprehend it but I know one thing: we can't let that happen.


	5. Stopping the Serum

Tobias returns a few days later, I have calmed down and been able to forgive him since our last encounter. "You look good." he says looking into my eyes and then onto my small baby bump. "I've missed you." I answer. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry I left you the way I did." "I forgive you, it's okay." I whisper as our lips collide. It's the first affection I have gotten from anyone in weeks and it feels breathtaking.

After we break apart, I tell him about the memory serum and David's plan to use it. We gather the others around and come up with a plan of our own. Caleb will enter the weapons lab and retrieve the serum then it will be released on the people from the bureau including David. Tobias will head into the city to inform Uriah's parents about what happened and inoculate as many people as possible from the serum.

The next few months go out about peacefully for us. I watch as my belly grows bigger and bigger, we plan to get married after I have the baby. We're expecting a girl. I'm about six months pregnant when our plan is set to begin. We stand wrapped in each other's arms as Tobias prepares to go into the city. I don't want him to leave but I know he has to at the same time.

"I don't want you to leave." I whisper with my head on his chest, he answers "I don't want to either but I have to." We break apart and lock our lips in a long, passionate kiss. My face rests under his by a few inches. "I love you." he says, kissing my cheek and then my belly. "I'l be back for you, I promise. Always." he says as he goes to leave.

Panic fills me as an emergency lockdown in the Bureau begins, making our plan happen sooner than expected. Caleb and I stand outside the Weapons Lab with Cara where we review the plan. Guilt fills me as I realize that Caleb is walking into what will be certain death for him to earn my forgiveness.

I can't let him die like that, even though I may not have liked what he has done he doesn't deserve to die. I reason with him to let me do it because I'm Divergent after all and I am not usually affected my serums. I'm fine, I'll be fine, I reassure him. I tell him to tell Tobias that if anything happens, I didn't want to leave him. I don't, I don't want to but I can't stand back and let the awful things that David has planned happen either.

I enter the Lab, feeling the serum make my lungs burn as I breathe. I drop to my knees and move towards where the memory serum is located. David stands in the way of my path to it. I lunge toward where the device with the serum is located and hear a gunshot when I do. I succeed with releasing the serum, just as I am shot again.

David quickly disappears and I am flat on the ground, dragging myself to the door and leaving a large trail of blood behind. I know I can't save myself but I have to do this one last thing: save my child just as my parents did to save me. I push open the door as I throw my body across it and reach where Cara and Caleb are.

They are shocked to see me, I'm covered in blood. "I did it, I got the serum." I wheeze, "Ad then David, he shot me." Tears fill my eyes as my voice trembles "I'm not going to make it, I won't but please try to save her. Tell Tobias I love him." I finish, placing a hand on my stomach then closing my eyes.


	6. Losing Tris

**A/N: Sorry this chapter is a bit short, this chapter is written in Tobias' POV and the rest of the story will be from here on out. I don't own Divergent!**

I run to the outside of the Weapons Lab to see Cara and Caleb standing there, looking forlorn and nervous. I don't see Tris anywhere, I know this cannot be good. "Where's Tris?" I say. "I'm sorry, Tobias." "Sorry about what?" Christina says roughly. "Tell us what happened!"

"Tris went into the Weapons Lab instead of Caleb," Cara says. "She survived the death serum, and set off the memory serum, but she . . . she was shot. And she didn't survive but the baby is still alive. I'm so sorry."

Caleb walks up to me and speaks "She told me to tell you that...she didn't want to leave you." "Of course, she didn't want to leave me! It should have been you! It should have been you!" I snap. "Don't you think I know that?! I couldn't stop her, she wouldn't let me." he finishes before backing away.

I sink to my knees and turn my head away as I bawl. I can't imagine a world without my Tris, my strong, beautiful Tris. Eventually, I recover some of my strength and gather the courage to go see my daughter.

She's small and beautiful like her mother. Her eyes are still shut but she has a small patch of blonde hair on her head and wires and tubes that seem to overwhelm her tiny body. The doctors don't know if she will make it, the chances are 50/50 but I can tell she is strong. I hold her tiny hand, unsure of our future but I hold on. I decide to name her Alexa Beatrice Eaton.

Three weeks later, she begins to bat her beautiful deep blue eyes at me. I wish Tris were here to see her; to watch our beautiful daughter grow. A couple more weeks pass, the waiting is agonizing but the moment finally comes when I get to hold her. She's still tiny, but growing. I hold her against my chest and kiss her forehead, whispering softly to her "I love you, your mom loves you so much too. Someday, I'll tell you about her." I murmur as a stray tear escapes my eyes, before the nurse comes to place her back in the incubator for now.

It hits me now particularly that Alexa will never get to meet her mother, never get to know her and that she will only have me. It's not fair, it's not fair I think especially for Alexa when she has already had to go through so much in her life. Another month passes until I am allowed to take her home. I hold her, warm in my arms and want to keep her there forever.


	7. Epilogue

Two and A Half Years Later

Tobias POV

Evelyn greets me as she comes back into our world. Alexa stands in front of me, looking curiously at her. "Oh my! Who's this?" she quips. "This is my daughter, Alexa." I say. "Is she Tr-?" Evelyn asks, looking inquisitively at Alexa. "Yes, she's mine and Tris'. We're scattering her ashes today." I answer solemnly. It has gotten easier in the past two years or so, but I still ache and miss her especially on days like today.

Evelyn is thankful to say with us for awhile and I wouldn't mind the extra company and help from her now. She agrees to watch Alexa while I go with my friends to remember Tris. I jump on the train with everyone and answer to Christina that I'm going to zip line for Tris to honor her memory. My heart sinks a little saying her name, missing and remembering her. I see glimpses of her in Alexa, the child she left behind, and hope that maybe she will still carry a piece of her mother with her.

My heart pounds as we board the elevator and it risks to the top floor. I don't like heights or small spaces but I know Tris would have wanted me to do this, to do what I had told her what seems like a million times: Be brave. Cara hands me the urn and Zeke encourages me to do it so I do, strapped in face first like her. Ready to face another fear head on.

Flakes of ash fall as my body glides down the line and I scream. I lower to the ground, relieved to be down and still. Christina reminds me that she's holding on to life but waiting for the moments that don't suck and it reminds me of many good moments: taking Alexa home, watching her first steps, first birthday, living without the factions…

Living without Tris won't ever be the same as it was but there are still moments worth remembering and enjoying. I owe it to her and Alexa to make the best of it, to make it not suck as Christina says and I promise. I will.


End file.
